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it’s so weird how grapes don’t really taste like anything on the outside. like if you just put a grape in your mouth it doesn’t have a taste. but then you bite down and you’re like whoa. that’s a grape

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*on the phone with police after reporting a murder* no you hang up first

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If I text you first, you better appreciate that shit because I don’t do it for just anyone.

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*adopts 420 children* haha raise it

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